I never sleep well the night before a trip. The anxiety of getting the last of the laundry out of the dryer and into my bag, shoving my toothbrush and phone charger in there as well before zipping it all down with fingers crossed that no seams bust. The nervousness of getting to the airport, parking and then getting through the security line all in time to make sure I get some coffee just keeps me turning in the sheets.
Last night was no different. I packed and re packed for a month long trip with three different climates and events, all the while hoping that my bag would be under the weight limit. I kept picking it up wondering if it weighed more or less than a small child. I got up three times to get water, and when my phone was finally plugged in it was around 1am. The alarm went off at 4am. Then again at 4:05. I slid out of bed and did that last minute scramble dance around the apartment.
Then the hard part came. I so badly wanted to just get back in bed with my husband. We rarely travel separately and when we do I feel like it’s not real – like I’m dreaming some really bad dream in a world without my human. I hugged him. I cried. It’s only four days, but it feels like much longer when you spend almost every hour of every day together. (And you like it that way.)
When I finally got on the plane I hadn’t felt this type of exhausted since I worked for the ACS planning Relay For Life events. I would be up for over 24 hours. For a great cause none the less, but a walking zombie all the same.
It wasn’t a full flight so I slid into a row by myself. That’s a feeling. It’s like finding a parking spot the closest to the TJ Maxx door as possible – like you were supposed to be there. I slid my handbag under my seat along with my hat, and grabbed Ron’s t-shirt that smelled like his Chanel Bleu. As I was about to curl up into the smallest ball of Paula I possibly could, I looked out the window.
The sun was coming up after a rainy day yesterday, and it brought me to new tears for an entirely different reason. I wanted nothing more than to rest, but God stopped me in my almost slumber. He wanted me to rest, but in Him. He was boldly and colorfully calling me to take time with Him as the sun rose over His creation.
Quiet time hasn’t been something that I have practiced as well as I should. It’s important for the soul, and I have strayed from setting aside that time for myself and my Savior. Ron and I will do morning devotionals, but we know that growth is important both together and one on one with God. He was just reminding me this morning as the views kept coming.
Thank you God. Thank you for leading me to your present and perfect rest.
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” -Romans 8:28
“The Lord your God is in your midst, a mighty one who will save; he will rejoice over you with gladness; he will quiet you by his love; he will exult over you with loud singing.” – Zephaniah 3:17
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” -Matthew 11:28